LOVE is not about SEX

Love is not about sex

“Do you only love me so that you can have sex with me?” This is one of the most frequently asked questions by a girl to her boyfriend. I can say that because I am one of the victims of the question myself. What answer would you give, if you were in our shoes? Well of course we don’t want to tell them a ‘yes’ and then miss our future opportunities of good sex. So, then flows the stream of lies, “NO! Why would you think that way?”, or “I love you Baby, and I would always love you”, or to the extreme, “I would love you even if you were a man and I couldn’t have sex with you”. That makes you cringe, I know right!

That leaves us with the question, “Is love only about SEX?” Well, sex in the natural life is all about the genes to be carried forward. Every living being on the planet earth lives, well in the simplest words, just to have sex. A Cicadas stays under the ground for 17 years only to come out one fine day, sing their heart out, find a mate, have sex and then die. The purpose of any life on earth is to keep the flow of life. And the only way to do so is sex. But of course there are ways the scientists came up in which the carrying forward of the genes or the continuity of life is taken care of without actually having to have sex. That maybe out of the reach of the ordinary men and also goes against the laws of the nature. Therefore the purpose of any life on the earth can be said to be to have sex and keep the system going on. Is this the same situation with the humans?

Human beings are the only animals who have the largest brain in proportion to his body. That gives us the ability to think and logic out reasons and also gives us the ability to lie. The large brain gives the humans the greatest gifts in all the animal kingdom, language. Through this gift, humans gained the ability to speak and therefore the ability to listen, to write and therefore the ability to read. The most amazing thing about it was that, men could manipulate almost everything; from the existence and non-existence of a divine figure called god, to as simple as manipulating our mothers to give us the extra penny. And so from all the manipulations was born the term love. However, I am not saying that love is just a lie.

As I meet people, who claim to be so in love with their partners they cannot live without, I ask them this question, “how do you know you are in love?” and the answers are almost copied from all the romantic movies. When argued about their love being just a copy of a scene of the movie, they argue that love existed before the movies. So then comes the question again, “was it love or just sex?” Famous figures of love, the great king Shah Jahan and his lady queen Mumtaz Mahal of the Moguls in ancient India, 1631 to be exact. The king having built a great monument Taj Mahal, in memory of his dead queen, is a great example of love. However, the fact that the king had fourteen children from the queen and also that the cause of death of the queen is child labor during the birth of the fourteenth child, clearly shows that his love was, well, sex. Again, the question arises, is love only about sex? Or is sex equivalent to love?

This seems to be one of the hardest questions ever asked to a man. Not taking in account of all the men who can explain the phenomenon of love and sex, through their divine knowledge of neurology. To all ordinary people, who do not know neurology, (like me) the question remains in par with the existence of god. What is love if it is not supposed to be sex?

The Wikipedia says “Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection ("I love my mother") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". However it also says that Love may be understood as a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species, in other words to have sex.

Love for me is an irresistible feeling to be irresistibly felt. It is a feeling of happiness that every person in world has to experience despite the gender and all the social statuses. I think that is the very reason for the birth of the famous phrase, "love is blind". This feeling won't care if it is for a person who is opposite gender or the same. It will invade the age barrier, all the social etiquette, religion, color and social status. When it happens nothing matters because then, love is enough for everything that is ever needed.

Love is happiness is other words. Why would I say so? Well whenever you feel happy you get the feeling of love.  A moment; like seeing a thousand butterflies or a series of fireworks in the sky when your loved ones stand by your side holding you tight promising that she will never let you go. You fall in love with the moment. A person cares for you so much to the extent that she can sacrifice something very close to her or she does your favorite thing even if she sucks in doing so. You see him doing it. Your eyes water up in an unknown feeling. You fall in love with that person. Likewise, the same theory applies to all the other things you ever fell in love with. Because it just feels just so good to be in that state.  

Love, is not about sex. Though sex will only be just another way to show love, it will never be love. One may have sex with someone whom they don’t love just casually if it is in the Americas but that will be forgotten right after that. To find somebody to love and then proceed to the process of showing love through sex will be the real way of love.

love because when you do, you fall in love with loving itself.